•July 7, 2013 • Leave a Comment

Happy birthday Liz.
Let’s just sit in the hotel and watch shitty cable.
Good job on being broke.
Woo hoo new Orleans.

Almost forgot that I hate my birthday.



•July 2, 2013 • Leave a Comment

I tire of people so quickly….


•June 23, 2013 • Leave a Comment

It’s been an interesting few days. This girl is nice. Not sure I want a relationship but I don’t want a fuck buddy ether. I think we both just need the affection. Can two people do that? Simply mutual affections without the rest of the things that come with it? It’ll be interesting to see what happens.

Also I miss Shayne. I worry about him so much.


•June 8, 2013 • Leave a Comment

Lying in my room alone I’m the dark. It’s so quiet. I’ve just realized how lonely I really am. Just laying here. I’d kill to have you by me. I can imagine your shape laying next to me like you used to. We never really slept together. We slept next to one another. I can almost feel your weight on the bed. I wonder if you sleep with her. I used to lay here watching you sleep, staying up so I could calm your night terrors. I wonder if you remember that. You used to come over to sleep in the middle of the day and I would hold you so that you were safe, so you were loved. What I wouldn’t give to be back there. As naive as we were, we were so in love. So crazy passionate for one another. How I’d die to have that back..
I can barely see what I’m typing. I need to go.


•May 31, 2013 • Leave a Comment

I’ve been so depressed today. I could barely make myself get out of bed this morning. Almost cried every few minutes while I was out. I have no motivation to finish these dresses. I love my dress and I don’t even want to look at it. Everything on jesaicas dress is going wrong because I’m rushing it. I don’t want to look at or bother with ether of them.
I dont want to sew, I dont want to shower, I don’t want to move, I don’t want to think.
I want to die.
For the first time in a long time I literally want to die.
I want to be alone in a dark place to breath and turn my brain off.
I wish I wasn’t such a fuck up.


•May 28, 2013 • Leave a Comment

All these migraines. My head is killing me.
Lately I have these head aches at work and its becoming worse and worse.
Like they just come on and cripple me for a few minutes.
I take pain meds when I feel them coming on and it makes them shorter at least.
I guess I call my doctor and see if I can get in before I lose my insurance..


•May 28, 2013 • Leave a Comment

This cyst is acting up again. I really need to go to the doctor.