I’ve been thinking about it. She’s right. I rant on and on when she makes me angry but when do I post about how happy she makes me? I can see how that would make her feel. I can see why she doesn’t believe that I really love her. I haven’t been what she deserves. I know I can be. I have the potential, the capacity, to be extraordinary for her. I could shower her in love and make her feel like the most loved human being alive. So why don’t I? Why do I only push when she slips away? I don’t understand it. How strange it is to not understand your own actions.. I’m going to be better for her. i want her to come back, god do I want her back, but I won’t blame her if she doesn’t. I’ll be her friend, I’ll be whatever she needs or wants. I just want her in my life. I love her. I adore her. I’m proud of her. I admire her. I believe in her. I just wish she could see how I see her. Feel how I feel for her. I only wish she could believe me.
Tuesday afternoon. I’m going to call her after work Tuesday. I’ll ask her how her thing went and I’ll try to talk to her… I’ll try.


~ by lizzardspit on February 10, 2013.

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