I think i need more drugs.

i need something to make me feel good. or feel nothing. both work. i feel to much of everything bad. i’ve just been miserable all day. falling over things because i’m drifting. not hearing anything anyone is saying. the only things i can feel are pain and fear. the occasional hate. everything else is just a void. the false happiness i’ve had the past few days was nice but it wore off. i knew it would. it never lasts. i’m hitting lows again. i did this before. when she sent me to the therapist. that didn’t work. i just want someone to give me meds. i don’t care what they think i feel. worst part is no one notices. no one notices that i’m spiraling into a deep depression again. and the ones who notice don’t care enough to help. and i hate them for it. i can’t sleep. i don’t want to eat. i just want to lay in bed and stare at the wall. she doesn’t even care. no one will help me. i don’t know what to do. i can’t help myself. not like this. i’m going to go and lay down now. bye.

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~ by lizzardspit on February 8, 2011.

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